Hangover Beef in Soft Pants

Monday was the day after Supper Club. The day after Supper Club always brings two things: 1. Pants that are too tight and 2. A mild-to-massive hangover.

Though I managed to make it through the workday without anyone noticing I was wearing my secret jeans (thank you, Ann Taylor Loft), I still felt super uncomfortable. All I wanted was to go home, put on soft pants and watch bad TV. Then, at the end of the day, my boss Jeff — yes, Jeff of feed me kc popped collar fame — asked me to stay for a few minutes and talk business. (Ugh. The nerve of some people!)

But I finally made it home, my ass made it into my soft pants, and house beef made it in my belly. It was really easy.

Here’s how you, too, can have Hangover House Beef in Soft Pants

1. Prepare for a hangover using your preferred method.

2. Sleep a few hours, but not too many, not even enough.

3. Go to work, stay as long as you can, then go straight home and put on your soft pants.

4. Call New Peking and place an order for takeout. Order the House Beef. It’s good.

5. Get in your car (soft pants okay) and go to New Peking to pick up your order.

6. Go home and eat so much house beef even your soft pants feel tight.

Optional: Combine steps 3 and 4 (omitting the change to soft pants) by placing your order on the way home from work. Then, put your soft pants on as soon as you get home.

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