Simple Scapes and Shells, or Garlic Scape Fail

On Saturday, after his trip to the Brookside Farmers’ Market, Jeff came by my wedding-fundraising garage sale. He even bought two casserole dishes. A generous salesperson, I threw in eight free ramekins (they were actually his and had been at my house since the feed me kc Beer Dinner No. 1) and he left one garlic scape in my fridge, just to see what I’d do with it.

I failed him.

Garlic scapes — for those who don’t know or had forgotten, like I had — are the tall, curling tops or “stems” of garlic plants. They’re very garlic-y and supposedly very edible. When you cook them properly.

To be honest, I had no clue what to do with my solitary scape, so I googled “garlic scape recipes.” The first result was “The Crisper Whisperer: 7 Things To Do with Garlic Scapes” on Serious Eats (a trusted source in my book, and not just because one of the founding editors is from Kansas City). There were seven great suggestions. Not one of them was to fry them, like capers. So, what did I do? I fried them, like capers.

Now, I feel that I should write an article called “The Careless Whisperer (I’m Never Gonna Dance Again!): 1 Thing NOT To Do with Garlic Scapes.”

Pan-fried garlic scapes are not tender. The texture isn’t good. It’s just… rough, like fiber? One might even call fried garlic scapes inedible. Still, I mixed my chopped, fried scapes with some quinoa pasta shells and the delicious garlic-y oil (silver lining?) and had what might pass for dinner.

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